The "Not Yets"

It's easy to become discouraged in the world of motherhood.  It's further compounded when your children's educational needs are being met solely through your efforts.  You can't blame anyone else when your hypothetical 11-year-old doesn't remember where to put the information when addressing an envelope, or when said child squabbles with her brother and whines all the way home from a 4-hour trip to Macinac Island.  While I might scold my children when they haven't learned something yet, in my heart I am embarrassed at my own lack of prowess as a mother and teacher, wondering where I've gone wrong.

But do I ever take credit when they do brilliant stuff? Because they do.

Nope.

Why? Because they are doing the work, not me: they're competing with friends in an online language course;  these not-morning-people are setting their alarms and starting earlier than any previous year; they have completed writing assignments that are charming and fun to read, with absolutely no whining; they are getting 89% of their work done with little input from me at all, including morning devotions; they're getting more chores done than ever, greatly freeing me up to get projects done for my shows; they also, of their own volition, chose to go running/biking with me this morning, one of them keeping up with me for a almost whole mile at an 8 min. pace before turning around. Further, there is very little nagging to get these things done in a day, compared to previous years.  This is all their doing, not mine.  You can only bring a horse to water, but you can't make him drink, so they say.

I can't and don't take credit for their hard work, so why do I pile on the guilt for their shortcomings?
If I were on the outside looking in, I might suggest to myself that I have enough shortcomings of my own without taking on theirs, too :-)

They are growing up and are learning from consequences.  They are adding subjects which interest them.  They are trying new things, even hard things, out of curiosity or for the sheer challenge.  They--like me--are in the process of becoming. Why not focus on successes and blessings-along-the-way instead of getting discouraged by the "not yets?"  After all, "not yet" means we have a ton of potential!